Midwatch
by vandiver49
Summary: T'Pol has alittle insomnia


Midwatch  
  
By vandiver49  
  
Disclaimer: There is no way that I could have created any of this stuff, its Gene's. I'm just tryin to explore the characters in more depth than the TV show probably will ever do.  
  
  
  
The flame from T'Pol's candle shown steadily as she prepared for her nightly meditation. It was relatively late in the evening, around 2200. Granted it is always night in space, but the illusion of a 24-hour day made daily life for the crew more bearable. T'Pol closed her eyes, in preparation for her daily mantra. It was as necessary as breathing to her, an integral part of being Vulcan. The routine never varied, she would imagine herself in a vast Vulcan desert, with its searing heat against her skin. Her home was the most peaceful and calm place she had ever known. Now more than ever its image proved to be a haven from the raging storm of emotion that was humanity. As she peered up into the sky though, her tranquil visage was askew. Instead of the red tinged atmosphere and dual satellites of her home, the sky filled with stars dancing across the backdrop of night on another world; Earth. This disturbing dichotomy shook T'Pol back to reality. "This will prove to be a very long night," she silently thought.  
  
With continual mediation proving illogical, T'Pol put her candle out and decided to take a walk around the ship. Actually she convinced herself that she would some further analysis of the ships' warp field on normal space. But this was a lie, something that was far easier to do than she cared to imagine, especially to herself. The real reason T'Pol was walking about was because she preferred this time on the ship. The only people up were those on watch, thus offering a modicum of peace and quiet. While on her "walk" she contemplated the difficulties she had encountered in her meditations.  
  
"My time with these humans is beginning to erode my judgment, "she mused, "while the discoveries the ship has made have been intriguing, I do not think they are worth sacrificing my mental health."  
  
She thought back to when she asked Commander Tucker for some advice. That advice was now proving to be a conundrum. "What do you wanna do?"  
  
"Humans and their incessant questions." T'Pol was originally convinced that humanity's questioning and curiosity would be the death of their civilization. "What is it the humans say, curiosity killed the cat?" She had no idea what the history behind this or any other of the numerous colloquialisms she had encountered during her stay on Enterprise, but found truth in their meaning. Yet the curiosity T'Pol openly admonished in humans was secretly what had led her to Earth, and what kept her on Enterprise.  
  
T'Pol contemplated this, while roaming as aimlessly as a Vulcan could until she reached Engineering.  
  
The hum of the Warp Core concealed her entrance from the handful of crewmen that were on duty. As they milled about their work, she noticed that Commander Tucker was up tonight. She paused for a moment, recalled the numerous "discussions" her and the Chief Engineer were known for getting into. Against her better judgment though, she decided to seek his counsel.  
  
"Good evening Commander."  
  
"Oh, evening Sub-Commander, I didn't know you were a night owl. To what do I owe the honor?" Trip coolly replied.  
  
"I am Vulcan Commander, as you are well aware, not an owl. In regard to your question, my meditations are proving to be.difficult tonight, thus preventing me from going to sleep."  
  
Trip was clutching the bridge of his nose, apparently still reeling from the first part of her comment. "C'mon T'Pol, even I take a break."  
  
To this, T'Pol responded with the standard Vulcan sign of confusion; an elegantly raised eyebrow.  
  
Trip, quickly sensing her dismay, interjected. "Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, what's on your mind?"  
  
T'Pol immediately tried to suppress the curiosity that was quickly building inside of her, but it was too late. She had never known Commander Tucker to acquiesce, especially to her. Normally he would engage in some rambling diatribe about whatever point they could not see eye to eye on. It always proved to be a vain attempt to try to get her to understand his "logic", if such a thing could be said.  
  
"Commander, you have no witty or illogical retort tonight?" T'Pol asked wryly.  
  
Trip flashed her a small smile before replying. "Normally I would, but I don't raise anyone's ire this late at night, including yours."  
  
Ire wasn't an emotion T'Pol indulged in, but she recognized a truce when she saw one. "Then I will have to confront you more frequently during this hour if you are more agreeable."  
  
"Careful Sub-Commander, if we start having normal conversations, people might start to think we actually like each other." Trip flashed her a disarming wink before continuing, "So, what can I do ya for?"  
  
T'Pol decided to focus on answering his question rather than questioning his comment. "I already stated that I am unable to sleep tonight. I believe that I may have been in error in regard to staying on Enterprise."  
  
"You wanna leave Enterprise over one restless night? It's gotta be more than that?" Trip may have been human, but he knew enough about T'Pol to know when she was evasive. It was rare thing when she didn't get directly to the point, and this was one of those occasions.  
  
"I believe that my stay is starting to erode my mental health." T'Pol conceded. While she may suppress her emotions, T'Pol had discovered that her comments would inadvertantly illicit an emotional response in the crew, regardless of the fact that it was purely unintentional. She knew Commander Tucker would take this one in particular personally.  
  
Trip was true to form, "T'Pol, I mean I know we.I guess me more so than everyone else, get on your nerves, but drivin' you crazy? That's alittle over the top." Trip expressed a look of genuine concern as he tried to understand her dilemma.  
  
T'Pol attempted to clarify her comment, "I do not believe that it is through the actions of any one individual on the ship," she could see Trip's face relax slightly as she exonerated him as the cause of her malady, "but it is simply the nature of your culture. It is by definition. chaotic."  
  
"Well how can you be sure it's affectin' you?"  
  
"I find that my concentration falters during my meditation. Your culture has induced stressors that I was mentally unprepared for. " There was some semblance of truth in T'Pol's words. She had expected to be a mentor to these humans, but on several one occasions, she sensed that they regarded her as not only their shipmate, but as a friend. She could honestly say that no Vulcan would have risked their life for her as Captain Archer had done during her first week onboard. He above all others on the ship had no reason to trust or even befriend her, but he had. She even suspected that Commander Tucker regarded her as and friend too, but it was a friendship that defied logic. In either case she had not expected to make friends, and had purposely tried to distance herself from them. But they refused to allow her to be an outcast. Now, it seemed as if the crews' good intentions were proving detrimental.  
  
"Well T'Pol, I didn't think you were one to run from a challenge, but if it's messin you up that badly, then I guess you should pack your bags." Trip had threatened her to leave once before, when Koss was asked her to oblige their childhood bonding of marriage. But Trip really didn't want her to leave then, and he didn't what her to leave now. There was something about her; it's what kept him engaging her in constant argument. He just chalked it up to it being how they worked together, but he knew that he would miss the arguments as soon as she walked off the ship.  
  
"This goes far beyond a "challenge", Commander."  
  
"Well have you thought about tryin' to integrate our little chaotic world instead of fightin' it?" Trip knew he was reaching, but something was better than nothing at this point.  
  
T'Pol pursed her lips at the thought before replying, "That is illogical, how can calm be derived from chaos?"  
  
"That's not what I'm sayin, but it's like." He was struggling, trying to find some creative way to answer her question, "it's like a hurricane, you know the whole calm in the eye of the storm thing. I mean, you know how you need complete calm to feel at peace? Well for me, when I wanna relax, I come down to Engineering during the busiest part of the day, and try to focus on the sound of the Warp Core. It's pretty constant but very subtle. In the process of listening for it, the rest of the background noise just fades away." Trip hoped that somewhere in his rambling that he had stumbled upon a point.  
  
T'Pol, for once, actually understood with great clarity what Commander Tucker was getting act. She felt surprised, but her facial expression didn't waiver to betray that feeling. "That is an interesting assessment Commander."  
  
"Well it's just my two cents, for what its worth."  
  
"Contrary to what you may think, I do value your opinion. Goodnight Commander."  
  
"Night."  
  
As T'Pol turned to walk out, Trip was suddenly struck by the civility of the conversation that had just transpired. "Only on the midwatch." Trip surmised as he turned to continue to work.  
  
. . .  
  
In her mind she was back in the Vulcan desert, but this time she welcomed the night sky of the Earth. Her vision continued to change into a more Terran panorama. There was dull chatter of inaudible conversation, the low hum of a persistent wind rattling through the trees, the horns and sirens of passing transportation. From all appearances, she discerned that the image was of the Vulcan compound in San Francisco. Was this the "calm" that Commander Tucker was referring to? She continued to listen. She heard the take-off of a shuttle to orbit, the cheers and screams of a late night party, the crash of the ocean against the surf.it was persistent, repetitive, unyielding. In the chaotic world in which she lived, the sea certainly had to be the representation of the peace she had been searching for. She could discard all of her emotions into the sea, to be carried off with the ebb of the tide. With her search over T'Pol walked over to the surf, and began over meditation. 


End file.
